i am never one for celebrations or festivals. i always prefer to keep them a quiet family affair or if it appeals to me, occassionally, with a group of close friends. celebrations and festivals are more or less a circumstance for me, if i do go through the motion of celebrating them. christmases, new years, birthdays, valentines' day... they all come and go, in a matter of seconds, and life still goes on the way it should, at least that is the way it has been for a typical student like me. but ever since i came to london, certain days of the calendar just stand out in my face, beckoning for some form of celebration, or in the very least, some form of recognition. they become more important and they have a greater role to play, symbolising a lot more than just simple plain dates in a month, as they would be if i were back at home.
they became a vital indication of care and love from my loved ones back at home, almost as if i am afraid of being forgotten.
they were also timely parcels of warmth and strength to keep me going in a foreign land.
i can't over emphasize how much these dates mean to me now that i'm still far away from home.
so when xmas 2006 came and went, new year 2007 came and went, birthday came and went... and the well wishes that never came... the first 3 big occasions spent away from home only serve as big ugly reminders of how stupid and naive i can be in a relationship. and i just cannot forget how they were so conveniently forgotten. it only showed that i didn't matter too much, did i? it was a gaping wound that was left to fester on its own until school and other commitments temporarily drew my attention away. but the hurt and pain never left. not for one single moment. 'betrayed' is the word to use.
valentines' day could probably have been an attempt to set things on the path again, but by then, i was just too cynical and jaded by everything that has happened. all the lame excuses and feeble attempts.
maybe it's best to forget the past and let time heal all wounds. ha. ha. pardon the cliche. even i find it hard to stomach.
on a lighter note, i'm still mugging! to all who still care, yes, i'm mugging and getting ready for the exams! :)
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5 comments:
HUGS MUG HARD!!!
Hugs..i care too!:) Jiayo wor girl:)
heyy cheer up babe!
i brought back ur bowl ok? it helped keep my bra in shape =D
so smillleeeee
hey girl!! dun worry!! u still have US! ^^ greece from 16-20 jun.. ONZ??
on a side note, i've been secretly reading ur blog.. muahahaha. secret no more! :p
*prawn dance*
viv
Habits are hard to kick. If you've never been one to kick up a fuss over these occassions, your other half (who has not experienced the loneliness of being away from home) will not realise your change in needs.
If you've been together for some time, all the more you need to communicate your new needs. Otherwise he will assume you to be the girl he knew, not the one with new needs in London.
And if all these reasons do not persuade you, then there is the failproof one:
The army makes already stupid boys even stupider. Haha! Good luck for your exams.
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