it's really hard to understand the fragility of life until you've come into contact with death...
i've not come close to it, thank god. But hearing stories about people around me who suddenly pass away without any reason or rhyme jolts me into thinking about how i can live my life better. recently a friend of a friend passed away. I've never met him but I'm sure he's a great guy. He was just having dinner with his mom when he suddenly collapsed and by the time the paramedics came, he was already brain dead. I just learnt that the parents had agreed to take him off the machines and now he's gone forever. it was just a short span of a week. i felt rather disturbed...
it's too easy to die.
not too easy to live but let's make living a good one!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
21
21st came and the celebrations went quickly... it's now back to life..
somehow, like a soothing balm, the strike of midnight took away all the weariness, the bitterness...
i think i've renewed myself... slowly but surely... i'm anew..
he belongs to the space called memories in my mind, occasionally surfacing as i sleep but disappearing as soon as dawn breaks...
i live through each day now, appreciating the people around me more, and making sure i celebrate each little achievement of the day...
somehow, like a soothing balm, the strike of midnight took away all the weariness, the bitterness...
i think i've renewed myself... slowly but surely... i'm anew..
he belongs to the space called memories in my mind, occasionally surfacing as i sleep but disappearing as soon as dawn breaks...
i live through each day now, appreciating the people around me more, and making sure i celebrate each little achievement of the day...
Monday, January 07, 2008
2 more days...
well, it's been ages since i last updated. clearly age has caught up on me and blogging seems like a thing of yester-year... it literally is considering i only started blogging last year when i first came to london. in two more days, i'll be a year older and less inclined to blog.
the year's passed really quickly and the start of school didn't bring much other than the fact that i've been quite busy. the wierd thing is i can't remember why i was so busy.
there are things that remain embedded in my mind, etched painfully here and there, un-erasable and i just keep adding on to that emotional baggage with all the impulsive things i do. I find that i'm always doing things on the spur and i don't think too much of the consequences. and then i'll vehemently defend myself as if i had the right to do the things i do. but as usual, i don't think too much and this is something i'll probably bring well into when i'm 21.
i have the right to make myself feel better, regardless of what i do. and i have no regrets. even if it hurts at the end. because it doesn't matter when it seems like i am just an unreal, false, numbed existence.
the year's passed really quickly and the start of school didn't bring much other than the fact that i've been quite busy. the wierd thing is i can't remember why i was so busy.
there are things that remain embedded in my mind, etched painfully here and there, un-erasable and i just keep adding on to that emotional baggage with all the impulsive things i do. I find that i'm always doing things on the spur and i don't think too much of the consequences. and then i'll vehemently defend myself as if i had the right to do the things i do. but as usual, i don't think too much and this is something i'll probably bring well into when i'm 21.
i have the right to make myself feel better, regardless of what i do. and i have no regrets. even if it hurts at the end. because it doesn't matter when it seems like i am just an unreal, false, numbed existence.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
to the best bud...
babe, if you're ever gonna read this, i know i should put this on your blog but just testing to see if you actually come to my almost de-func blog... haha!!!
i'm really happy for you!!! now the tables have turned though, you're attached, and i'm single, so as your best bud, and the babe who's always gonna be there for you, all i want to say to you is, 'enjoy yourself and most importantly, don't make yourself unhappy, ever!' In any case, i'm an email away and put away your lovey-doveyness when talking to me, i'm still in recovery mode man... haha!
i'm going to make a sweeping statement here, but boy do i agree with it - guys are really heartless when they want to be, no matter what shit load of lame excuses or explanations they try to give. So babes, at the end of they day, prioritise your own welfare over guys! give them no chance at all to hurt you cos girls usually get the brunt of it all...
incoherence! and angsty! and grammatically confunded... but ya... whatever...
i'm really happy for you!!! now the tables have turned though, you're attached, and i'm single, so as your best bud, and the babe who's always gonna be there for you, all i want to say to you is, 'enjoy yourself and most importantly, don't make yourself unhappy, ever!' In any case, i'm an email away and put away your lovey-doveyness when talking to me, i'm still in recovery mode man... haha!
i'm going to make a sweeping statement here, but boy do i agree with it - guys are really heartless when they want to be, no matter what shit load of lame excuses or explanations they try to give. So babes, at the end of they day, prioritise your own welfare over guys! give them no chance at all to hurt you cos girls usually get the brunt of it all...
incoherence! and angsty! and grammatically confunded... but ya... whatever...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
HEY HONGYE!!!
OHMYGOSH!!! HONGYE!!!
yes, sorry for my over-enthusiastic exclaimation! i believe that yes, we were once theory mates with teacher james... if i'm not wrong! can't believe you found me!!! haha! dunno if you'd come to this blog again but yes, if you ever do, thanks for leaving a msg! would wanna find out how you're doing! so yup, if you have facebook, you can add me! it's shimmie sim! though the teachers called me by my chinese name xinyu...
ah, my blog's falling to disrepair and i'm now abusing it by treating it like facebook!
anyway, i'm back in good old london, cant believe it, but i actually quite like being in london!!! i like my room!!! if i get the chance i'll post a picture of my room! and my house with the housemates! i love being in london actually!!! haha! but i suck at time management and i'm falling all over the place doing everything all at once! argh! i have to stop being disorganised and actually get down to doing sth constructive!!! :) but yes, dear friends, if you still chance upon my blog, msg me!!! until i've found a way to put up a darn tagboard, keep msging me!!! :)
yes, sorry for my over-enthusiastic exclaimation! i believe that yes, we were once theory mates with teacher james... if i'm not wrong! can't believe you found me!!! haha! dunno if you'd come to this blog again but yes, if you ever do, thanks for leaving a msg! would wanna find out how you're doing! so yup, if you have facebook, you can add me! it's shimmie sim! though the teachers called me by my chinese name xinyu...
ah, my blog's falling to disrepair and i'm now abusing it by treating it like facebook!
anyway, i'm back in good old london, cant believe it, but i actually quite like being in london!!! i like my room!!! if i get the chance i'll post a picture of my room! and my house with the housemates! i love being in london actually!!! haha! but i suck at time management and i'm falling all over the place doing everything all at once! argh! i have to stop being disorganised and actually get down to doing sth constructive!!! :) but yes, dear friends, if you still chance upon my blog, msg me!!! until i've found a way to put up a darn tagboard, keep msging me!!! :)
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